Trudging the Road of Happy Destiny

About Me

Life on Life's Terms from addiction to recovery

Blogs I follow:

1. Being

   I have been swept away from this blog for a considerable period of time and I had long ago forgotten what my last post was about.  It is apparent that the last month or so has been about the same life lesson.  It took a lot of misery labeled as “stress” to get me to really pay attention to the life lessons that are all around me. I have been participating in a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction beginner course and like a lot of things I approached it with expectations and judgment.  Also, in metaphoric fashion, like a lot of things I approach with judgment or expecxtation the reality I find is far different than my pre conceived notions.  I just recently participated in a full day retreat that was focused around silence, sitting meditation, and walking meditation.  I feel as if I was flooded with so many truths about my life that I have had difficulty paying more than mere lip service to.  Initially I felt a significant amount of internal discomfort at the idea of sitting still for extended periods of time over the course of a 7 hour day.  I deal with discomfort by doing, doing, and more doing. For a long period of time it was doing drugs and alcohol, doing work, doing gambling, doing spending, and nothing eased the discomfort I lived with.  Recovery from chemical addiction provided much benefit and relief; however, the continual push to strive has always been there.  I have been pushed by internal messages of need to be better and better is doing more; not good enough always needs to be more, bigger, and better to the point that there is no goal but a constant target just at my fingertips but out of reach. 

   I was able to not only sit still during the retreat but rather rested and finally had permission to just be.  I was able to just be and my spirit was able to catch up.  I was able to sit in the moment and follow my breath while concepts and simple messages about life were allowed to emerge from the deep wisdom within my body.  There were several messages that built upon themselves throughout the day but the over arching mantra that came to and resonated with me was that

   BEING IS NOT DOING

   Additional messages that emerged were that:

   SUFFERING IS UNIVERSAL and CHOICE IS INDIVIDUAL

   KINDNESS, PATIENCE, TOLERANCE, AND LOVE OF SELF IS BEING…………

   I left the experience with a deep feeling of being rested and ok with everything.  The push to strive was not there and I have been able to be mindful of my footsteps in life……………PEACE